Unhinged: Sex Life While Married, TMI, and More

I am sure everyone wonders what it's ACTUALLY like to navigate your sex life throughout the many phases of relationships, marriage, and especially kids.
We answer questions submitted anonymously about trying to find new ways to spice things up, openly communicating, and introducing additional people to the bedroom while married. Be sure to have finished the prior podcasts so you're not missing context!

Also - if you are our family members, I would skip this podcast.

***We would love for you to become a monthly subscriber to the show! Even receive shoutouts for signing up.***

Transcript

Brett Weyers  0:00  
Do you have an intro yet?

Cassidy Weyers  0:04  
Hi, you've reached the voicemail of Cassidy Weyers don't call again.

Brett Weyers  0:12  
I'm actually gonna put that in as an intro from now on. I love that.

Cassidy Weyers  0:19  
I'm funny. Okay, so we're back. I'm shifting gears a little bit from the first few podcasts. First, this is the first one. We're like actually filming. Hi.

You feel? Do you feel a little bit more awkward than usual? Comfy? Are you? Yeah, I hate that. Oh, my god. Um,

yeah, I don't know. It feels weird that and we're sitting on our bed.

Brett Weyers  0:48  
I think maybe, maybe you want to preface that for me? For anyone that just listening? 

Cassidy Weyers  0:53  
Maybe that's why it's throwing me for a loop of sitting criss cross in the bed. Um, I think we thought it would be funny because we're talking about sex life. And we're like, let's sit in the bed. That is just comfy. And it's harder for the kids to hear. Because otherwise, I feel like it carries from any other room in the house. So

oh, I don't know, the first few podcasts if you listened, we're pretty heavy. Um, I think the second one was probably harder for me than the first one. In some ways. Actually. 

Brett Weyers  1:27  
It was more real. It was a lot more real. I think that 

Cassidy Weyers  1:31  
I think it was harder to have to look back on the first podcast and talk about like, how I was actively feeling while recording that one. So that was a little bit more rough. There are a lot of tears after that one. 

Brett Weyers  1:43  
Yeah, I think the second one was more of it went a little more into us, like both of us together as a couple a lot more insight on you. First one was just a lot of questions people had for me just to get them out of the way. So that way we could get to the things that you really wanted to talk about. This is true. We just needed to clear the air because let's be real I aired everything out there by announcing the divorce slash affair situation.

Cassidy Weyers  2:09  
So on this podcast, our goal was to just talk kind of candidly, I think about sex life. You know, what ours looked like for the time we were together? I know, there's been a lot of questions surrounding the adding extra humans to the bedroom situation and how we navigated that or why we chose it. And I am just a heads up for any family members who are going to potentially listen to this, I recommend you just don't

just skip from podcast two and go to gas for

Brett Weyers  2:44  
I don't know, just so everyone knows, I have no idea what questions or what we're talking about. I just know the topic is sex and relationships. Oh, God.

Cassidy Weyers  2:53  
I know them because they were posted. And then I compiled them into a nice little list for us.

Brett Weyers  2:58  
Is this a safe place for me?

Cassidy Weyers  3:04  
What isn't even supposed to mean? Oh my god. Okay.

So the first question we're gonna branch into actually, I think stems more from the first and second podcast, but I know someone really wanted us to answer it. And she submitted it kind of later in the game. So it didn't get into the first two. But it says I am on the opposite end of the spectrum. I've been in a relationship slash marriage for 13 years, and I have three kids. But I'm the one who cheated. If it had been a one time situation would either of you would either of you had tried to reconcile.

Brett Weyers  3:43  
She She just keeps asking the same question kind of Hmm, well, no, that was just me. That's an assumption that it's a her what she said this, this situation is

Cassidy Weyers  3:53  
reversed. Yes. So I it's a female.

Brett Weyers  3:57  
This I'm pretty sure this female actually just direct messaged me today on Instagram, asking a little bit. I'm not going to repeat what she asked. Yeah, that was that was confidential. One thing that I do want to point out is for this person, like, I almost don't, I'm probably not the person to try and describe this. I'll do the best that I can. You're the female in the relationship. I'm assuming you have a husband. Let's just make that assumption. Okay. When a woman cheats, there are different factors that lead them to cheat than men. So it's very hard to compare her position to mine.

Cassidy Weyers  4:50  
I don't know if that's I don't think you can safely assume that just because I think there's such a wide range of factors behind why people cheat. I don't think necessarily gender plays a part The reason versus not

Brett Weyers  5:01  
I think gender plays a part specifically in just how your brain functions because of your brain.

Cassidy Weyers  5:07  
I would, I would agree. Testosterone versus Yes, absolutely. Just

Brett Weyers  5:12  
the thought patterns of how men have thought patterns versus women. That's what I'm kind of getting at. Okay, I get what you mean, because I feel like this person very much feels like it's solely their fault. And it's the woman in the relationship. But I find it very hard to believe that it's not somewhat his fault, too.

Cassidy Weyers  5:35  
I don't think that's fair. Because I think that's that would be almost the same connotation as people trying to blame me for your affair. And I think you're getting into like toxic masculinity at that point, when you're trying to assume that the male plays a role

Brett Weyers  5:51  
regarding toxic masculinity would be blaming her for everything,

Cassidy Weyers  5:54  
to some extent, but I still believe toxic masculinity would also stem from the same place of always assuming that like, the male has to have apartment.

Brett Weyers  6:04  
In that sense, yeah. Okay. I agree with you.

Cassidy Weyers  6:07  
But I think your question was more about what we have tried to reconcile because I think they're probably still together. I think she reached out to me to, like, individually, and I think she had mentioned that they're still together. They are? And would we have tried to reconcile? If it were just a one time thing? I don't know. I can't answer that. Because I don't know what I would have done. You don't? I mean, I can't speak to something I haven't experienced or I don't like

Brett Weyers  6:34  
this, I think she clearly is very focused on the fact of is my relationship going to make it? Probably, I would agree. That's kind of where that question stems from. It sounds like you want us to validate for you that it's gonna be repairable and which we can't,

Cassidy Weyers  6:51  
because everyone's situation is ultimately different. And I know plenty of people who have been in our shoes on a one time basis, and I know they've reconciled, and a lot of couples come back stronger than ever from it like some do, especially when it's like a one time kind of like context where it was like a one night stand, or there weren't like emotions involved, maybe or there's just a lot of different scenarios that can alter, I think how people in general, bounced back. For us, it was obviously much deeper than that. And we talked about that the first two podcasts. So yeah, like

Brett Weyers  7:23  
we said in the first two, I think everyone has this idea of when someone cheats, there's, you know, the black and white of what happens afterwards, what led to it. And it's, it's, that's just not the case,

Cassidy Weyers  7:34  
I think every scenario is so vastly different. So I can't really answer if we'd have tried to reconcile after one time, because I don't know what I would have done, I don't want to speak is something that I haven't experienced, because I don't have a clue.

Brett Weyers  7:44  
Yeah. And I think in order for both you and I to actually truly give any value to this person, we would need to talk to them directly. It's not enough to just have a question, and then try and answer it without more context and what emotions are flying. And it's just, I almost feel like there's just I need more information. For me, at least maybe you don't.

Cassidy Weyers  8:08  
I would agree. I think I would want to like talk to her directly. And kind of just, I think there's more to that question. There's more underlying there than she's obviously letting on. And it's hard to answer that without knowing the full context. Okay, so let's move into the meat and potatoes of this podcast. So I kind of grouped these again, the first set of questions is more about I think, our sex life during our marriage. And then the second part is about what it's like to add a third to that dynamic.

Brett Weyers  8:43  
You need a whole separate podcast for what led to that. I mean, cuz there's, there's hours of stuff we could talk about, for what, what got us to even feel safe enough to that point, but we'll get to that later.

Cassidy Weyers  8:54  
Um, I think no, I

think I could probably answer it pretty efficiently, actually. Okay. Okay, so first question, let's kick it off as a married couple. What was your sex life like?

Brett Weyers  9:06  
So this is

Cassidy Weyers  9:07  
okay, as each answer these because I want to hear your answers to some of these and then I'm going to follow up from my perspective.

Brett Weyers  9:13  
Okay. You first, well, you just said, Oh, I'm gonna I used to be able to actually

Cassidy Weyers  9:23  
do a really good Kermit voices for the love of God.

Brett Weyers  9:26  
What was our sex life? Like? I mean, our honeymoon was fucking awesome. That was really good. Let's just start there.

Cassidy Weyers  9:34  
It was also a very long trip. So I feel like that's probably not the greatest context. Yeah,

Brett Weyers  9:37  
but I think everyone's asking kind of like let's talk like, what six months after getting married? Yeah. I think that's a no I think we gotta go further than that. I think you need to you need to eliminate the first three months start at six months and go from there because then you're like, really a married couple. Yeah, cuz that first six months is more like a honeymoon. Right? That's funny. Good. We were Got a honeymoon but like, didn't stop after we got back. God, what was it like? It was good. But like, I feel like at some point your lives get so busy. And it's like, for me at least when I when we got married, I think in my head a little bit, there was something that like a switch that went off and was like, alright, you want, like you got her? Your she's married to you. You got her? Like the woman of your

Cassidy Weyers  10:33  
people get divorced? Yeah. You got it.

Brett Weyers  10:36  
I'm speaking from exactly what I was thinking back then. Not what I know. Now.

Cassidy Weyers  10:42  
It's like the most toxic thought process to what is like this. Alright, I have I'm married.

Brett Weyers  10:48  
I mean, that's not like, when I say I have her like we're married. It means like, I like I'm with my forever person. And I'm just so happy. And it's like, I forgot that you had to keep putting in courting, and, you know, dating flirting. For us anyways, eventually, it started to fade away.

Cassidy Weyers  11:11  
My friends accorded me more. Yeah, but that

Brett Weyers  11:15  
there's a lot of things that led to me not continuing to court. You

Cassidy Weyers  11:19  
know, I think it's a good question for us just because yeah, dynamic of our so

Brett Weyers  11:23  
maybe we have to answer it from a perspective of if we didn't have all the shit. Agree. The way that I would answer that is I think every man at some point starts to get complacent with courting. Maybe No, I

Cassidy Weyers  11:41  
would agree. Probably.

Brett Weyers  11:42  
Okay. Some men. I guarantee you there are guys out there that for the rest of their life until the day that they die. They get it. They know that they don't that you can't stop dating your wife after you get married.

Cassidy Weyers  11:56  
You know what I think is wild. Now that I think about this question as you've been talking. I actually don't think our sex life it was great before we were married. And then I think that we knew I was on like a biological clocks. We went right to trying to have kids almost immediately, because we knew that like that time was ticking. So I know we did that, like ASAP. And I think because it was so hard for us to get pregnant with Elena at first and it was very defeating. Obviously, it became a chore and we were not.

Brett Weyers  12:27  
Oh, that that's true. Yeah, I forgot. Like after we got married, we were like, Okay, we want two kids. And you it's not safe for you to have kids after the age of 30. due to health reasons. And so yeah, I mean, what was the year after we got married? We started trying right

Cassidy Weyers  12:44  
away. We tried way sooner than that. Because Elena was born a year later, and we kind of took a year to do us. No, we didn't. Nine months. No,

Brett Weyers  12:51  
we six months. No, we started right away. Yeah. We were excited

Cassidy Weyers  12:59  
living. We started trying I want to say like three months after we got married.

Because he Elena was born April 2020. We got married January 2019. That took us like six or seven months to get pregnant. We stopped using protection on our honeymoon. Yes, that we did do that was Now do you remember is clicking now.

Brett Weyers  13:18  
Oh yeah, cuz there's best sex ever.

Cassidy Weyers  13:23  
Anyway, I cannot stand you.

Brett Weyers  13:25  
You're still the best sex I've ever had. Well, there's just there's too much emotional connection between us that forever you're gonna be the best sex that I ever

Cassidy Weyers  13:35  
it's funny. I was just talking to someone about like how emotional sex is so vastly different than like just a one night stand or like a hookup friends with benefits.

Brett Weyers  13:45  
Oh, go there, please. I want to hear about this conversation.

Cassidy Weyers  13:47  
It was more or less just talking about how like, emotional second, I think is unmatched. Like even if it's monotonous sex, it's still better than the wildest random sex.

Brett Weyers  13:58  
I can. I will absolutely confirm with you on that one. Because I know that there's times where we have had sex. And now I'm comparing this to every past sexual experience I've had prior to you,

Cassidy Weyers  14:11  
which is like 1000s It's not that high. If you total all the plastic the amount of people I know you fucked, like for sure.

Brett Weyers  14:20  
There's probably I mean, I struck out a lot of times yeah, I mean, I was can't relate. I've never struck out my mind not worth anyone's time my burden, insecurity my unlovable insecurity, dude, I'm a piece of shit I'm getting no no no, no, no, no, you're not you're just speaking the truth because all of that drove like literally drove me to do really fucking bad shit. Like,

Cassidy Weyers  14:45  
okay, so wait. Back to what the fuck are

Brett Weyers  14:48  
we talking about? You were talking? Oh, fuck. Oh,

Cassidy Weyers  14:51  
I was saying like, what's marriage? Like, what sex was like as for us as a married couple and I think the thing is, is that I will be honest, I don't think because

Brett Weyers  14:58  
are you sorry, I'm gonna cut you off because actually remembered. And I'll forget you're talking about emotional sex versus even before that. Okay, go ahead.

Cassidy Weyers  15:05  
So what I was saying was that I think like, as a married couple, when we were in the phase of what we call like baby making or trying to have babies. I don't think that I think because you're just in this very, like, delicate and complicated phase of life, sex is not your forefront. No. So like, yes, we still had sex, but it wasn't like the last, I'd say six months have been like, I personally think our sex life was better than ever, probably the pet like the six months leading up to the end of our marriage.

Brett Weyers  15:36  
Do you want to know why?

Cassidy Weyers  15:38  
I think it's because we both really worked on having kids. Well, it was

Brett Weyers  15:42  
explained that I

Cassidy Weyers  15:44  
think for me, I there was like a switch. And I don't know how to explain it. But like when I entered the, okay, we're making babies and I'm bearing kids. And I'm like, growing them and birthing them. And just, it doesn't make you feel your best, right, you just don't feel your best because your body is not your own. Your body belongs to small little crotch goblins. You're sucking humans. I'm just kidding. I love my kids dearly, but like, they just they drain the life out of you out of your body, it looks different than your you don't feel like you. But I think it requires you to almost like switch into a different mode through that phase of life. So you can just get through it and complete that phase. Because you know, it's not forever. For some people like for us, we knew that it was a very short period that we wanted to just be finished with. Okay, so then like, when we were done having Damien, I was like, gloves off, I can go back to being me as like, the wife is like the sexual human being is like all of these things I couldn't because I was breastfeeding someone or like,

Brett Weyers  16:40  
so I think like a lot of people say that our communication is very good. And for B for going through divorce. I feel like yes, is very, very fucking good. But I think one, one thing that I realized that people don't understand is like what you just told me? I had no idea. That's how you felt after you popped out Damien, and were like, done breastfeeding and stuff like that. So there was like,

Cassidy Weyers  17:02  
I don't think I realized that though. Until recently. Like, that wasn't something that I hadn't come to terms with either.

Brett Weyers  17:07  
Well, regardless, like one thing that I have really picked up on through doing self a lot of self work, is my listening skills were fucking shit.

Cassidy Weyers  17:16  
I used to just blankly stare at me all the time, I would blankly

Brett Weyers  17:19  
stare at you. And I would take what you were saying word for word, as is verbatim. And the problem there was like, I didn't ask questions. I didn't dig. I wasn't curious about you. And so since then, it's like, it's actually really sad. It is really sad. So I was just touching on like, Hey, here's the communication that we had. Prior. I wanted to know things. I also just didn't fucking have this communication skills. Didn't know how.

Cassidy Weyers  17:46  
So. Okay, so I think that that,

Brett Weyers  17:50  
yeah, deviated. Sorry. No, it's

Cassidy Weyers  17:52  
okay. I just think that because I was in that weird phase of life of bearing kids that I just, that was my focus. And that's the only place my head could stay. Because it's very hard to want to be sexual while like, your boobs are always leaking. Like, it's just, it's not fun. So I think that when I was done with that chapter, and we knew we were finished, I was like, okay, I can I can focus on being me again.

Brett Weyers  18:12  
I mean, I will go off the leaking thing, when you there's certain parts of having a kid that just like kind of, like, catch you by surprise, kill the sexiness. And one of the things that was was very hard is I think it was actually for the both of us because I love how personal Are you getting to you? And we're gonna see what comes out of your mouth? Well, because what I what I will say reveals personal information about you. Like, I don't know how,

Cassidy Weyers  18:43  
I mean, I look at it this way, but I'm like,

Brett Weyers  18:46  
okay, but like, I like boobs. You love, like, playing with nipples is a huge thing for both of us. Not my nipples. Okay, shut the fuck up. Whoever's laughing in their car right now. Nice. I know. I know. That's the first thing. I know. The first thing anybody's thinking about right now is just a like an image of you and I standing or kneeling. Like here's how that we're on video now. So this is what this is. This is everyone's thinking this right

Cassidy Weyers  19:19  
here. In fact.

Brett Weyers  19:23  
They see this they see me kneeling on the bed like this and you kneeling facing me and they're seeing this. Like you and I just kneeling in front of each other just like this,

Cassidy Weyers  19:34  
like 70s Porn.

Brett Weyers  19:37  
Like, what's this shit that they used to play at HBO that would like softcore porn? No, it was like, Yeah, it's like when you were in middle school, if your parents had HBO late night. Oh, my God.

Cassidy Weyers  19:53  
That just like ruined.

Okay, so I'm gonna get Would you stop? You sicko? Where are you going with the nipple conversation?

Brett Weyers  20:10  
I don't. Oh, you were we were talking probably through the first

Cassidy Weyers  20:14  
two questions. I wanted to be done in 10 minutes.

Brett Weyers  20:18  
No, it's fine. People like it. I like it. I don't care if they don't like it. This is so much I love talking to you. So, where I was going with that, you know, you you mentioned about things that come after pregnancy that kind of just like, kill the sex drive or like turn people leaky boobs. Yeah, so you mentioned leaky boobs. And I was gonna be like, I mean, like doing that during sex is like something you and I both loved so much, but like though I think the one thing that does kind of just it ruin like,

Cassidy Weyers  20:50  
it ruins the mood.

Brett Weyers  20:52  
It ruined my mood for like, I don't know a couple days every time it happened was having to try and help you clear clogged ducts which involved me put in my mouth vacuum putting my mouth on your nipple and sucking as hard as I could to unclog you. And I know those are all on I'm getting like PTSD I'm sorry if you're someone that like people have like a phobia of cake sounds Yeah. So I'll vividly but it's like it. The first time I did it is that you're like just you gotta suck as hard as you can.

Cassidy Weyers  21:38  
I was like I had a fever and I was miserable. And it was so bad you were it was really bad. I saw you suffering and I was I'll never forget the first time I had it with Elena was like three weeks postpartum got it sucked. And I remember laying awake on the couch with her in the middle of the night because I was so miserable. I was awake all night. And I was like in the shower out of the shower like trying to get her to eat like trying to fix Oh, it was terrible. I'll never forget that. Oh, that gave me PTSD. Let's

move along, please. No one cares about that. Yeah, well. Okay, so

was there ever a struggle communicating? Oh, wait, what was a normal night of sex for you guys?

Brett Weyers  22:15  
I don't a normal. There's no,

Cassidy Weyers  22:18  
it depended on the night like what you consider normal for us, I guess. I think there was the nights where like, we both knew we had an end goal that needed to be fast and efficient. And we weren't looking for like the whole kit and caboodle. And then there were nights where like,

we would block off time in our evening to know that we'd be like, spending hours getting our shit together.

Brett Weyers  22:39  
Getting What do you mean getting our shit together? Okay, just making sure everyone else knows. They don't need to know. We know like a normal.

Cassidy Weyers  22:54  
Sorry, friends.

Brett Weyers  22:55  
Yeah, you should have muted mine, too. I heard it anyways. Excuse you. I think it's like hard to say what a normal night is sex looked like? Because it was. I mean, there was like, the type of sex we had most often. But then there were other times where it was like, just out of the blue. Really, really fucking awesome. Yeah, I

Cassidy Weyers  23:21  
think it depended on just our moods and probably like,

Brett Weyers  23:23  
yeah, because I mean, there were some times where we would go through a month where we were literally so busy every single day. I remember like, when you were trying to build your, your program, your course. I wouldn't

Cassidy Weyers  23:38  
go there because you were cheating at that time.

Brett Weyers  23:41  
Yeah, but that's an example that I can give. Okay, well, we'll go back even further, when you were building your business. That was you were putting in so much fucking time. And it almost got to the point, it did get to the point where it was almost like you or I, actually to keep our sex life alive. Would like text each other during the day and be like, Hey, do you want to have sex tonight?

Cassidy Weyers  24:04  
I think there's nothing wrong with skeleton. No, no,

Brett Weyers  24:06  
I'm not saying there's something wrong with that. I'm saying that's how we kept it alive. Because we it was very hard to find the time and there were days where both you and I were so tired at the end of the day, but we're like, Yeah, whatever.

Cassidy Weyers  24:21  
I think the hard part too is that like, Yeah, whatever. Let's do it. Okay, so I don't mean this in a bad way. But sex is a chore. And not in the context where it's a bad chore, but it's something that you have to plan for. Right? Like it's something that you need to keep on your radar, you need to make sure it's done. You need to plan time for it accordingly. At least like in our marriage, especially it was a huge part of who we were as a dynamic. Do you mean? Yeah. So like we made sure to like have a touch point for it. Or to make sure like talk about like, is there anything we want knew we want to try? Like is there something that we need to be doing differently? It just it was a huge connection. Probably So I think for us, which is where like, I think the cheating too, when that came in it made it harder for us to recover from it as well.

Brett Weyers  25:08  
I'll agree with that.

Cassidy Weyers  25:09  
I think it made it harder for us to recover. Um, but yeah, so I think normal night of sex for us wildly different we, I think we were always willing to try things, too. I don't think there was anything we weren't willing to try. Well, I mean, there's a few things I can think of where you were like, if you even asked me again, I'm getting divorced, but

Brett Weyers  25:26  
not shove your fingers up my butt. Thanks,

Cassidy Weyers  25:30  
monkey. The only reason that's funny

is I never seriously wanted to do that. But like, every time I would ask, I'll tell you what it would make you cringe and you will feel over dead and you would just like, I have no desire. It was just so funny to watch your reaction anytime I would ask.

Because you would panic.

Brett Weyers  25:47  
It is. Somebody who are gonna go Oh, you're not comfortable enough with your mat your masculinity to just try it. Even though you know you're not gay. It's maybe. I mean, I have a lot of insecurities in my masculinity and confidence has been so fucking off. So like if I did that, yeah, I'd probably

Unknown Speaker  26:07  
I'm gonna kill over it. Anyways,

Brett Weyers  26:09  
what I was about

Cassidy Weyers  26:10  
picturing like you panicking every time I would ask and then look at your face was like, if you asked me again, I'm gonna follow up.

Brett Weyers  26:16  
Yeah, that would be like if we actually went through that with that. That would be good. Like, just imagine me bent over the bed in you like just kind of touching the Yeah, like a rectal exam. Yeah, you like just touching the out outside and me being like, no, no, no, no, no, wait. We're gonna talk about it. Oh, but what I was gonna say is like, I'll let you shove a really big deal though up my ass. If you give me the opportunity to date you again.

Cassidy Weyers  26:50  
Think you missed the part where?

Brett Weyers  26:52  
It's a turn off for you? Yeah. That's that's the only reason. That's the only reason why I felt comfortable making that offer is because I know it's something you really don't want to do.

Cassidy Weyers  27:07  
Okay. Was there ever a struggle communicating needs or interests? And how was that block overcome? Or why do you feel like it wasn't?

Brett Weyers  27:19  
You get to go first.

Cassidy Weyers  27:21  
I know for you, I think there was.

Brett Weyers  27:24  
No where'd you get to talk? It wasn't from you.

Cassidy Weyers  27:27  
I had no problem saying what I didn't need. I've never had a problem being okay, I need this or want to try this. Okay, so for me, no.

Brett Weyers  27:34  
Yeah, I stopped you from talking about me because I wanted to general genuine. I've never had you. Okay. There was an issue for me. As far as like, communication and things I like, why are you laughing? What's going through your head like this at

Cassidy Weyers  27:54  
this point? The epitome of why our marriage ended? Your inability to like, communicate genuine me. Yeah.

Brett Weyers  28:04  
You need to make sure you give the correct context around that. Because what you just said people are gonna go, Oh, your relationship failed because Brett didn't communicate his sexual needs.

Cassidy Weyers  28:16  
I mean, you did fuck someone else.

Did kind of how it looks. Yeah.

Brett Weyers  28:23  
It does look like that. Yeah. And I know a lot of people are gonna think I'm trying to manipulate you by the response that I give. And to be is

Cassidy Weyers  28:37  
it any more drinks?

Brett Weyers  28:38  
Yeah. But I I don't give a fuck if you think I'm being manipulative. My Truth is my truth. But I don't think who gives? It wasn't it wasn't about findings, you know, things sexually that I wasn't getting with you.

Cassidy Weyers  28:52  
It was, well, no, we've done I can sign it's not like you weren't what

Brett Weyers  28:55  
we're talking about. Right? The question was about Opening communication and ask, yes, communication and talking about like your sexual desires, right. So this is completely aside from me cheating. Because I was getting all of my sexual desires that you knew about from you. I didn't need it from anywhere else. But the one thing that I didn't communicate with you is like, my dominant side that likes to come out during sex. And I had kept that suppressed for 10 plus years, at least,

Cassidy Weyers  29:30  
I don't even think that came out until probably the end of our marriage,

Brett Weyers  29:33  
like the very, very end. Because when it was at the very, very end, I think that I realized like shit, this could be the last time we have sex. And this is something I've never let out and it's like, I You're the only person I feel comfortable enough to let it out. So there's like, just so everyone knows, like I think I was ashamed of it. And really worried that you weren't gonna like it and I didn't want you to, you know? Yeah, I get frightened me. But now that you know about it, I wish I would have told you about it years ago.

Cassidy Weyers  30:11  
Shame. I think I made it fun. Yeah. I don't know what was happening there.

Okay,

Brett Weyers  30:16  
I was embarrassed. I'm scared.

Cassidy Weyers  30:18  
I'm not embarrassed by anything because at this point, it's all flux to the wind. Yeah, well,

Brett Weyers  30:22  
I've got fucking issues. Okay. We know this.

Cassidy Weyers  30:26  
Okay. How often? Were you guys having sex? And did you feel fulfilled with your sex life?

Brett Weyers  30:38  
Me. I felt very fulfilled with our sex life. Towards the last six months, though, like you said it fell off. But that was the worst I've ever been. And so if I think about it through the entirety of our relationship, it was great. What?

Cassidy Weyers  31:01  
Nothing I was wasn't.

Brett Weyers  31:03  
Oh, I've started thinking. The answer the question? Yep.

Cassidy Weyers  31:09  
Okay. Um, let's see. Oh, and then how often are we having sucks?

Brett Weyers  31:14  
No, go back. You have to answer the question now.

Cassidy Weyers  31:16  
Did I feel fulfilled? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, like, I don't know why. I did. What are you making? fucking face?

Brett Weyers  31:31  
Cuz there's video and I can fuck around him.

Cassidy Weyers  31:34  
I hate this.

I like it better when I can sit in my ugliness.

Brett Weyers  31:39  
Yeah, but at the same time for people to see our facial expressions like it's gonna make this conversation becomes a lot more fun.

Cassidy Weyers  31:48  
Yeah, okay. Yeah, I mean, I felt fulfilled like I didn't at any point feel not like, here's the thing, too. I think that's what made it so hard for me to forgive you for like, the affair aspect is like I never once felt like the urge to step out of my marriage ever.

Brett Weyers  32:02  
Well, yeah. I mean, that's the thing, too, is like, I never felt the urge to step out of my marriage sexually, at all. And so I was like, Dude, you never, there's no. Like, it's not worth the fucking effort to try and convince someone that I cheated. And it had nothing to do with sexism, no one will understand. But at some point, I think you did understand that.

Cassidy Weyers  32:21  
Here's what's wild. I think I understood you enough to know that I was aware of that.

Brett Weyers  32:25  
Okay. Before I was aware of it. Yeah. Wow. Because I see what she

Cassidy Weyers  32:29  
looks like. Like, there's no offense to her your great analysis, but like, there's no way in hell, she was better. So it's just like, I already knew that. Just, we already had like, a sex life. I think that was unmatched. Because we were so compatible. And I know what it felt like at the time. So I think for me, it was never like, it never made me feel less of myself.

Brett Weyers  32:48  
Well, it's the emotional connection that we were talking about, you know, not even that, but I just

Cassidy Weyers  32:53  
know how our sex life was. So for me, it's like, there's no way you're gonna get that with someone. You're just meeting who's got like 14 Boyfriends on the side. Like she's not well, I

Brett Weyers  33:01  
mean, the thing is, is like we could have like a five minute Quickie, and it felt like there's because it's you and I there's so much emotion there. Whereas like if I met someone at you, or I met someone at a club, and you went into the fucking bathroom, and had a five minute quickie where it would be really weird and awkward. I mean, yeah, I think some people it'd be pretty pretty fucking thrilling. So let's not just not let's not knock everyone's kink. So I'm talking

Cassidy Weyers  33:29  
about for us like I said, it would be weird for me. I wouldn't do it. Like, I'm not knocking. I never want to knock people's kinks. Don't get me wrong. It would just be weird for me. Um, yeah, no, but it for me, it was never I had never felt like a blow of self esteem when you cheated. Ever. I think I was that either competent in the fact that

Brett Weyers  33:45  
you didn't feel a blow of self esteem. No. In terms of

Cassidy Weyers  33:50  
sex? No, not even remotely. Okay. I felt the blow of self esteem because my husband lied to me. Yeah. Like, it didn't come to me when he was struggling to talk about something that was a blow to my self esteem. I didn't give a shit about the sex part, quite frankly, because I think just I already knew what it was like for us together. And I think I knew you enough to know that whatever you were seeking was like, had nothing to actually do with socks, if that makes sense. Okay, just the people you picked were just like if I wouldn't fuck them.

Brett Weyers  34:20  
Thank you for letting me know that. And that's also the

Cassidy Weyers  34:23  
really unfortunate part for you. Is like I like to also sleep with women so I will definitely validate if I think they're sexually attractive and I've deemed if I wouldn't sleep with them

Brett Weyers  34:35  
they weren't it wasn't a good joints. They weren't choices to fuck, they were choices to validate me.

Cassidy Weyers  34:42  
They nailed it. Alright. Um, because I won't validate you

Brett Weyers  34:46  
know, and I don't want you to don't don't do it. I have to do it myself. Like seriously? Huge.

Cassidy Weyers  34:52  
A huge part of it actually is like I think it's such a toxic This is funny. I saw someone post on Facebook. And it was a debate about Like whether or not flirting while married or in a relationship is innocent, like if it's okay. And there was a response on it about how someone said that they think it's actually healthy for people to have, like their ego boosted into, like, I understood their perspective, don't get me wrong. I understood it to an extent. But I responded back I just said, quite frankly, like, if you need to seek an ego boost by flirting, or you feel the need to boost your ego that way, that is such a deep internal problem that you need to work

Brett Weyers  35:31  
out. I really hope that person realizes that what you just said is you are describing mu

Cassidy Weyers  35:38  
you. You're exactly what I thought

Brett Weyers  35:40  
of your letter you are actually describing.

Cassidy Weyers  35:43  
But then I thought on the reverse side of the spectrum, I think about me, and I have another friend who is exactly like this, either. We are so good at self validating or just so disconnected. That like, flirting does nothing for me, like nothing, it doesn't. It has never like been, oh, thank you, that makes me feel so good. Or like, people complimenting me doesn't do shit for me. And I don't mean that in a bad way. Like, I appreciate compliments. And they're nice, but it doesn't like it's not like my driving force to get up in the morning do you want I mean, so I think it's just either a I'm so disconnected from people being nice to me, like a things, or, um, I just think that it doesn't I think at that point, like, if you feel the need to go out to a bar, right, just to have your ego stroked, and have people like, compliment you or flirt with you to feel better. Like, that's a problem. You don't I mean, I feel best when I'm laying in my bed by myself, and no one's

no one's speaking to me.

Brett Weyers  36:41  
No, I think that is awesome that you have that because that's very rare in people and that level of self confidence and, and

Cassidy Weyers  36:52  
self confidence. I have body image issues like that. Yeah,

Brett Weyers  36:55  
but let me finish and, and it's, it's a level of, of internal validation that a lot of people don't have. And when you reach the level of self love, and internal validation, and self confidence, when you reach a certain point, you don't require it from anybody anymore. Even if people say nice things to you, it doesn't boost your day up. It's just stuff you already know about yourself. Because you, you're so self confident, you're able to internally validate. So that's not you being a bitch or cold hearted, or, you know, tough. That's just you being very mentally healthy,

Cassidy Weyers  37:39  
I think. And like I said, I appreciate compliments like that. But I never am like, oh, well, that's dumb. I appreciate them. Yeah, but it doesn't like it's not something I go out and seek I should say, I don't need it in my life. Does that make sense? I just It doesn't serve me a purpose, I think yeah, in terms of like, making me actually internally feel better. I don't know. It doesn't do it for me. Like things I think that our internal wins for me are like my kids coming up and hugging me or like, those are the things that make me feel good. Um, that's I think what always was so interesting. You went under Namic is like when you'd always seek out other people or whatever. I'm like, what does that do for you this random person on the internet that you've never met? That probably has seven kids to win? Like husband? Like, what

does that make you feel?

Brett Weyers  38:23  
Made me feel like I was at work? I don't know. That's gives me yeah, there's a there's an insecurity that I've dealt with around that. But I still like I've addressed the insecurity. But now I have to continue on and see where else that pattern shows up in my life. And I have to continuously connect, I do need

Cassidy Weyers  38:44  
to say I think it gives me the EQ partly because I'm still angry about it. So I should preface that with like, I'm just annoyed that you even did it still.

So that's why it gives me the IQ.

Brett Weyers  38:54  
Yeah, that's completely fine.

Cassidy Weyers  38:55  
Okay. Do you feel like your sexual relationship with him was completely a lie? Because he was always looking for validation from someone else? No, not at all.

Brett Weyers  39:05  
It's when do you feel like this person is confused on? Like,

Cassidy Weyers  39:11  
I think they're 22 I think they assume that your self validation only comes from good sex.

Brett Weyers  39:17  
Not true.

Cassidy Weyers  39:18  
That's my point. I'm saying like, No, I didn't correlate those two things at all. Like for me, I don't think our sexual relationship was a lie. Because you were like fucking random humans, right? Like that. Doesn't not it doesn't wait.

Brett Weyers  39:30  
No. Rewind. You said you don't think that our sex life was a

Cassidy Weyers  39:34  
lie? Because just because you were fucking random

Brett Weyers  39:36  
just because okay, I forgot the word just because

Cassidy Weyers  39:39  
now you have it. Yeah, I don't think that was like a lie at all. Actually, I think the polar opposite I just think you were extremely like either hurt person or someone who really needed to work there shut out but I didn't take that like our sex life sucked. I'm to intuitive for that. Like, I think I read you way too well, and I was way too aware of like the reality of our situation, to think that you would I mean,

Brett Weyers  40:00  
I mean, even at the times where you felt like you were the ugliest like, you still got me. You still got me fucking going.

Cassidy Weyers  40:08  
No offense and I don't mean this in a bad way but so did some people have seen you fuck in the time we've been married, so I don't think that speaks volumes for me. No, I

think that's a compliment for me.

Brett Weyers  40:17  
Not like you do a thanks. I mean you could go out and have sex with another guy right now like go on a date with somebody have a one night stand and, and he's gonna make you wet, right? It sucks. No, I'm done for that I've had kids. Okay, well, he's gonna turn you on. Right is that era, but when you get turned on that out? I know. Because I know because I'm we're talking a lot of shit about me too. That I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna take

Cassidy Weyers  40:49  
out Oh, okay. This one's a

good one. How did you combine that only being intimate but also having fun while

Brett Weyers  40:56  
you deflecting what I was about to say? Yeah, I'm uncomfy okay, we can go. I won't make you feel uncomfortable.

Cassidy Weyers  41:07  
Did you combine that only being intimate but also having fun while being intimate?

Brett Weyers  41:12  
I think those are different things. Oh, you have to get comfortable with laughing during sex. Yes, I

Cassidy Weyers  41:16  
would agree. I think you'd have to have so much.

Brett Weyers  41:19  
I cut you off. Go ahead.

Cassidy Weyers  41:20  
I just think you have to have a deep found like I don't even know how to explain it. I think you'd have to have like a very deep I hate why. I feel like

Brett Weyers  41:32  
just taking

Cassidy Weyers  41:39  
space. I feel like deep throat is necessary for people to your me. Hear myself. People can hear me without me having to lick lick stay on your side. Don't touch me shit. Dry. Okay, so I think

Brett Weyers  42:04  
you gotta give me one. I go ahead. Okay.

Cassidy Weyers  42:10  
I just think here's the thing. I think having fun while being intimate. It depends on the scenario. I think there were moments is

Brett Weyers  42:22  
I'm just looking at

Cassidy Weyers  42:23  
the ceiling. I won't do it. Damien was doing really when you were like, are you looking at me? He's like, Oh,

Brett Weyers  42:28  
okay, Fun. Fun and intimacy. Go.

Cassidy Weyers  42:32  
Look at me now. It's weird that you're fucking staring at the ceiling. You just

Brett Weyers  42:35  
told me to stare at the fucking ceiling. Trying to make you feel comfortable?

Cassidy Weyers  42:40  
Comfortable. I'm fucked. Okay.

So how did you? How did you combine it? I don't think you necessarily have to combine it. I actually think that in some ways for us some moments of socks were like, let's just try this and see if we like it. Right. Then there were other moments where we knew going into sex and it was just a very intimate experience in I think what's most funny is the times it was most intimate was missionary. Always. Absolutely.

Brett Weyers  43:15  
One of one of two most intimate positions, yes.

But I tried

Cassidy Weyers  43:34  
for so unreasonable.

Brett Weyers  43:35  
I tried to find a way to say it without like giving too much information away. Okay. Should we hold on?

Cassidy Weyers  43:43  
Oh, wait, I know what you're talking about. Is it the very awkward? It's the it was the newest

Brett Weyers  43:47  
one that you and I tried?

Cassidy Weyers  43:54  
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking of. Okay. It's

weird. Um, we'll skip that. I just think that you don't necessarily they don't have to be like, the same experience at once. I think there are moments insects, you can be intimate. And there are moments you can try something new. Oh, sounds important. And here's also my other thing is that I think sex is such a one taboo topic in society in general, people are so uncomfortable by it, which I think is so funny, because the only way any of us exist, is because someone fucked someone.

Like think about the only way any of us are on this planet is because someone decided to have sex with someone else. So I think it's very interesting that it's such a like uncomfortable, taboo topic.

I also think, though, that like very much being able to tap into your own sexual being or what makes you tick or what interests you is a really hard thing for a lot of people to conquer, and like being willing to be open about it. And I think that's where like sometimes sex coaches or sex therapists can be so beneficial. I've never we've never used one But I have a friend of mine who is. And I just think that it's such a deep rooted thing that I think people don't realize can actually be talked through, or there are like, very deep internal parts that people haven't even figured out how to discover about themselves. But I think that hitting that level of intimacy comes from being able to find out about yourself to anyway, what was the question? So just about like, can you combine intimacy, but also having fun while intimate?

Brett Weyers  45:29  
Yeah, I mean, that's like, Do you are you trying to combine them both at the same time? Yes. It's the it's completely combining them both at the same time as

Cassidy Weyers  45:36  
possible. Yeah, we've done it all the time. But I think you have to really be comfortable with yourself to do that.

Brett Weyers  45:40  
I think. I think the part where people struggle to bring fun into your sex life is like, I think the first time I've heard that, always comfort, but I think the first time that I laughed with you during sex, and I actually think it was because you were I farted?

Cassidy Weyers  46:05  
I think it's interesting that you're insinuating comfort with laughing during sex. I don't insinuate comfort with that.

Brett Weyers  46:12  
No, no, I don't insinuate comfort with that. You know, I'm speaking from just my perspective, someone else's experience is going to be That's what

Cassidy Weyers  46:22  
I'm saying. I think it's interesting that for you, being comfortable requires you to be able to laugh. comfort for me in socks is like being willing to try things that I I would never, or I'm not, I'm just out of my general comfort zone.

Brett Weyers  46:35  
So what I'm talking about is just the fun part of sex. Not just being comfortable with bringing fun in. Because I mean, there's many different ways you can bring fun in, but when when this person says like, how do you do that? I think like I wasn't comfortable. I was comfortable with the fun, but it didn't really it didn't get really, really fun. Until I started being comfortable with like laughing during sex. Okay, I see what you mean. So like, I had to, like the fun was there. But I reached a new level of fun. When I was like, it's totally fucking fine to laugh and make jokes during sex.

Already, you had a big breath, there is a

Cassidy Weyers  47:25  
I'm just like thinking about here's the thing. For me, I'm thinking about like, long term, I still haven't slept with someone else of the male species. Since we first started dating, right, so like, I have not embarked on that yet. Go do it. It gives me Yeah, that's fine. I mean,

Brett Weyers  47:45  
I mean, one thing that, that sleeping with other women did for me, is it really showed me that I this is a really fucked up way to, to figure this out. But it's like, it was like I was dating you. And like, I was reaching out to all these other women. And what it did for me is it was like, No, God dammit, like, Cass is my person.

Cassidy Weyers  48:13  
Yeah. And I think that for me, I just like, sleeping with someone else. And getting to the comfort level that we did. Seems so daunting.

Brett Weyers  48:23  
I never got to the comfort level that we did. with anybody.

Cassidy Weyers  48:27  
I just think, daunting. You have to understand, like the work that it takes to get there. Yeah, there was the anomaly. I'm gonna do that over again. Yeah. Yeah, no,

Brett Weyers  48:36  
it's I have no interest in it. Like,

Cassidy Weyers  48:39  
I mean, I do because I'd like to have sex and like doesn't hurt to have.

Brett Weyers  48:42  
Yes, the sex part. I'm not saying I don't have interest in sex anymore. But as far as, like, trying to search for what you and I have, or had,

Cassidy Weyers  48:54  
I want that again, though, because I loved it.

Brett Weyers  48:56  
I find it I do want it again. I don't think I'll find it.

Cassidy Weyers  49:01  
There like 7 billion people on this planet. I fucking hope we find it because oh my god, that would be depressing. And I would really hate you more than I did before. Okay, does intimacy intimacy.

I just thought of something Haley says, Whenever she talks

Brett Weyers  49:19  
something about titties, no way she's

Cassidy Weyers  49:23  
okay. Does intimacy get more difficult with pregnancy? Or after birth? If yes, how did you push through that?

Absolutely.

Oh my god, at the end of pregnancy, I would have rather just not you didn't want me to touch you? I don't even think we had sex like the last probably two months are just miserable. Yeah, it was just well that I had the seizure issues. I was always sore or uncomfortable. Or like the last thing we needed was that during sex and I think it was just we were both like,

I think you also were like afraid that the baby would like reach through my vagina and grab your balls or something. Yep. So you wouldn't touch me with a 10 foot pole. Yeah, no,

Brett Weyers  50:04  
I mean, like at some point the the intimacy during pregnancy pregnancy died. Because of

Cassidy Weyers  50:10  
that permanently. I think people need to remember that. In the back of your mind you need to keep in mind it's a it's a short phase of your life. It's not like it's a forever thing. Your intimacy doesn't die and then never come back.

Brett Weyers  50:19  
Well, we were also still having sex while you were pregnant. Yes, but like towards the end when you got, you know, your belly started to get even bigger and bigger and bigger. And we had more ultrasounds, the just the for you the ability for me to like, separate that. Yeah, I can have sex and it's not going to this little person inside. There's not going to be traumatized by it. But like, in my head, I just I could not know past it.

Cassidy Weyers  50:51  
So I think that it's not necessarily that we pushed through it. We just paused it. We knew that like okay, this baby can't live in here forever. Like it's going to come out and we will reconvene at a later date.

Brett Weyers  51:01  
I remember I think the it was with Damien. It was like the last time we had sex before you gave birth it was it was actually quite close to the end it probably Yeah, I think it was, but I just remember I never told you I did this. But when we were done hit you with a pillow. No, it's gonna make you laugh when we were done in my head. I kept going little dude. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry little dude. I just got really dude, it's because I love your mom. It's because I love your mom, but I'm so sorry. That was that. I don't think we had sex after that.

Cassidy Weyers  51:43  
Birth. I was miserable piano Oh my god.

Well, it's fucking funny. Um, how was sex post baby

Brett Weyers  51:52  
Well, you have to wait a while you wait

Cassidy Weyers  51:54  
your six weeks or eight weeks? Whatever you're comfortable with. Everyone's different. Some people have to wait months. I mean, I was fine. Probably at like the seven eight week mark. I felt better normal. Yeah, like I didn't I was fine. I didn't have any I didn't have like big babies or I didn't have any tearing at all with Damien. And I had like, a very minor tear with the Lena so it's not like got a ton of healing I needed to do and they were both really small babies. She'd tell

Brett Weyers  52:16  
everybody about your, your, what did you call your pad sickles?

Cassidy Weyers  52:22  
Oh, those are like a widespread well known mom. Oh, they are? I think so. Um, but those were life saving, but I didn't really have any, like, massive issues. And I know some people do and that obviously takes way longer to heal. So I didn't really have any of that. I would say the first few times like post baby I think are just weird because one my body is squishy. I'm uncomfortable. My boobs are still like just in the way and they hurt so

Brett Weyers  52:47  
yeah, it's like you pop out a kid and then you kind of weird

Cassidy Weyers  52:51  
cuz you got a little human laying in the bassinet. So you have to have sex somewhere that's not here. And it's just weird.

Brett Weyers  52:57  
But also your body like you birth a baby and you're kind of like, I think people who haven't had a child assume like oh, you get your body back. But you don't.

Cassidy Weyers  53:06  
Some people do. I'm jealous. I'd never did I mean I look like no I don't want a fucking physique.

Brett Weyers  53:11  
I don't mean physically. I mean like when after you have a baby you know, you're

Cassidy Weyers  53:15  
always have no to because not everyone breastfeed. So some people will get to like, we don't want that's true.

Brett Weyers  53:21  
But I was gonna say like, you still have someone clinging to you. Breastfeeding all the time,

Cassidy Weyers  53:24  
especially like Damien was just such a, he was a bunch of different baby than Alina. Ilana was like, I'm going to sleep four to five hours at night and like stretches and just, she was like Sia, I'll just I'll let you know when I'm hungry. Damien, on the other hand, was like, he had to be attached to someone 24/7 And he was just a little more draining, I think in that initial postpartum period. So I would say that I think after that was a little more difficult, but it bounces back. But we also worked on it. We talked a lot about it. Like if we felt like, I remember checking on you and saying, like, how are you feeling? Like, do you want to have sex? Do you need to like that kind of thing? Because I still respect that. It's like, a human need for most people. Specifically, man. Yeah. That didn't work out for me.

It's just funny. It's funny. Well, yeah,

Brett Weyers  54:12  
I mean, you fulfilled every single need help us I believe lesson

Cassidy Weyers  54:16  
to Women Who all think it won't happen to them.

Brett Weyers  54:21  
Yeah, I mean, like, there's a lesson there like you can fulfill. You can fulfill your partner's every sexual need and still get cheated

Cassidy Weyers  54:28  
on her. So like, Don't Don't count your blessings because I don't trust anything that walks. No offense to humans. Okay. I know you said sex life. But what about outside of that being intimate is far more than just sex like flirting with each other while making dinner or a simple kiss on the cheek? I thought this was a sweet question. Actually. This was not our strong suit. I think especially at the end, there was so much I think stonewalling and resentment from me, to you. Um, but I also think that we just, I mean, you got lazy quite frankly, like yes, you checked out once. And I think intimacy actually stems more from people's love languages. Like, in my opinion, I think one of the best ways to be intimate with someone is to meet their love language. Yeah, you have to learn or know what it is first, and like cater to that. And so for me, I just, we were so rough at the end, in some ways, I think, like, especially after some of the substance abuse issues popped back up, and I just became frustrated. I think some of that got rough. And I think it's actually a good chance for me to say, Yeah, I think in some ways, I probably did contribute to you cheating, because like, you know, there are those misogynistic assholes who assume that like, Well, what did you do to make him want to fuck someone else? You

Brett Weyers  55:42  
know? No, you didn't do anything that made me one on Fox.

Cassidy Weyers  55:45  
But in hindsight, ultimately, it was with every action that there was a reaction from me, right? Like, there was always a response from me, based on an action you took, yep, I eat like, if you got big into the substance abuse issue, again, that made me hurt or feel like I wasn't being heard. And so I'm not going to, like cater to loving you when I'm feeling hurt and unheard. Like, that's just how it goes, you know. So I think it just created that vicious cycle. But I would agree, I think that the most important part of being intimate outside of sex is making sure you're meeting your partner's love language. Because I know for me, that makes me feel heard. That's just something that makes me feel good. And I think that's just a great way to be intimate. I know. For me, it was the small things to like, noticing milestones for me or things that made me feel good. So all right, advice and bedroom tips for good sex life. This is such a I don't even know where to start with this. Because it really depends on what floats your boat. It's so vastly different. There are so many kinks out there. There are so many different ways to cater to a different sex life. Ultimately, the key to a good sex life is communication. Like, yep, I can, yep. Like that's the most important starting point is communication, you will not have a truly fulfilling sex life, without the most vulnerable and honest communication about what interests you what you want to try what you don't like, it just it's going to flop you have to be able to talk about it,

Brett Weyers  57:15  
it was, it was one of the scariest things for me to do to talk to you about like having that dominant side. And now for people it's not like heavy rope and bondage and shit like that. There's just a dominant side of me that I kept very suppressed. And when I finally communicated that with you, and you were very accepting of it, like, it was amazing. And now like, that's not the type of sex that we have all the time. But when I want to go when I wanted to go there and do that, there was no issue with it. And it was a really, really powerful experience between the both of us.

Cassidy Weyers  57:58  
Yeah, I would agree. But I think ultimately, the key to a good sex life is going to be communication. Because if you have something you want to try, and you're afraid to broach that, or something you don't like that your partner is doing. If you're not talking about it, you're gonna feel this really, really weird underlying like stalemate almost between the two of you, or resentment, that even resentment, because it's already been estimated that but it'll just make you feel uncomfortable, which will make it harder for you to enjoy the experience.

Brett Weyers  58:24  
I felt like at times where like, there were things that like, while we were having sex, I wanted to be a little bit more of like one way or do something and I wouldn't do it. And then now looking back on it now that I had that conversation with you like, it's like, I wish I would have been doing that all along because you also really enjoy it.

Cassidy Weyers  58:41  
Yeah, I would agree. Um, where are

suggestions to hide sex toys? So my kids this is only funny.

Brett Weyers  58:55  
In a safe.

Cassidy Weyers  58:57  
Yes, in a safe is the way to go. Um,

the only reason I'm laughing about this is because of the situation with our nanny. What was it like two weeks ago where I called you last week when it happened?

Brett Weyers  59:08  
No, yeah, to two weeks ago.

Cassidy Weyers  59:11  
So I want to say like two weeks ago, this is so funny. Um, I work from home. And so

Elena was supposed to be napping, and this was before we had put some safety measures in place to prevent this from happening again. She was supposed to be napping, and our nanny was downstairs because Damien was still awake just you know handling your stuff taking care Damien. And Elena must have snuck out of her room and be lined it

Brett Weyers  59:39  
for my room. This was when she first started learning to open doors. Yeah,

Cassidy Weyers  59:44  
and I don't think we quite realized she could do it yet. So she must have be lined directly from my room.

Unknown Speaker  59:52  
She starts digging through.

Brett Weyers  59:55  
I mean, before that her habit was to go to her own dresser. Yeah, open They'll take everything out of the dresser. So instead of doing that she decided to leave her room doing mom's room come to the master bedroom and start doing it with your dresser. Yes.

Cassidy Weyers  1:00:09  
So she starts taking everything out of my nightstand. And Elise either must have sorry Elise, our nanny, either must have heard something. And she was like, Wait, what is that? So she came upstairs, I think to check it out and discovered you Lena in here, taking all my personal part of my drawer. But I think the part if I remember correctly, the least told me was elated turned around, I think holding like a vibrator. So I know, she looks at Elise and she goes I'm sure at least was like, Oh my God. But it was even funnier because it comes down stairs like 20 minutes later to grab water from the kitchen. And Elise's like laughing hysterically and I have the best relationship with her. Um, and so she tells me and I'm like, I am so sorry. And she's like, I was cracking up because it brought me back to when I moved to my parents found mine when they were helping me move. It

Brett Weyers  1:01:16  
is so much worse. So much worse.

Cassidy Weyers  1:01:19  
I'm like, oh my god, I'm so freakin sorry. Which like, I wasn't even more to find all I could do was laugh and I'm like, I just I'm so sorry. I had to deal with it. And she was like, honestly, I kind of chuckled. And I was like, Okay, well, we don't play in mom's stuff. Yeah, lesson learned. So

they now have a new hiding spot that is not accessible. So okay,

Brett Weyers  1:01:39  
what's the hiding spot though? They want to know what's good places, you just told us a bad place. So.

Cassidy Weyers  1:01:45  
But then like, I also have like the master bedroom closet. And obviously, this won't be a long term solution. But it's got like the toddler handle on it, you know? So she can't open it from the outside. So it's not like a long term solution. But for now it does the trick. And they're just stored in there.

Brett Weyers  1:01:58  
Well, there's also like, the bench at the foot of the bed. Yeah, that she doesn't know opens. Yeah, I mean, it's a bench that none of the kids don't know that opens if if anyone walked into a room, they know that it opens but eventually those

Cassidy Weyers  1:02:09  
won't work because the kids will be old enough to figure it out. Um, but safes? I mean, you can't go wrong with that. Yep. If you're really like, if you're really worried about your kids, finding them ultimately, I'm not that worried because eventually I plan to have like healthy conversations with my kids about

Brett Weyers  1:02:25  
sex. Yeah, but you gotta hide hide them. So they don't find them before.

Cassidy Weyers  1:02:30  
They'll even if they did, like I'm gonna have to have a conversation it is what it is. Um, last question about this specific section was doing couples boudoir fun or awkward, because only fun. I thought we had a great time. But I do see where people can find it awkward. And for context, I work primarily actually in the boudoir industry. So I work with a ton of phenomenal boudoir photographers across the country. So I've got like a very deep, like background on just the diversity of experiences that people come to us with whether it's being nervous, shy, very open, it really depends. For us, it wasn't awkward, but also we shot with one of my best friends. So yeah, it was just it was what it is what it is, we just I think for us at this point, it's it's an art form, like that's what it is. And it's like a self expression that we've very much just appreciate. It's been a really cool way actually to document the way my body has changed over the last, what five years, when I did my first shoot before we got married. So I think it's been a cool way to see how my body has morphed because I've done it while pregnant. I've done it while not after marriage before marriage, all sorts of stuff. Okay. The next section is solely about having extra human beings in the bedroom that are not threesomes. Part of threesomes. foursomes five sums, all of it. So the first question about this was what are the logistics rules boundaries and more for threesomes or other people in the bedroom? This is a heavy question. Lots here to unpack. You want to answer me?

Brett Weyers  1:04:10  
No. I mean, what's the first there's what are the logistics or rules? Boundaries? Okay, so logistics and rules. First, maybe we should discuss like how we got to the point of even talking about logistics. And

Cassidy Weyers  1:04:22  
that's actually the next question. Or maybe I just put them out of order. So let's start with that. Like was adding someone to the bedroom always a topic of conversation? Or how did it come up? So you're gonna have to answer this. Yeah. Not even remotely. I actually remember like a period of my life where the idea of it did not appeal to me even remotely. And I don't know what changed or like, what segment of my life it was when I decided like, this is something I think I want to explore or try. But at that point, we were already like, very together like we were very, very together at that point. And so I knew that obviously, I needed to have a conversation about it, because I wasn't gonna cheat on you. I'm just see where your headspace was at. And so I remember us kind of talking about, like, contemplating trying it or getting into whatever it was. And I think they were very healthy, open conversations. I didn't feel embarrassed to talk about it or address it.

Brett Weyers  1:05:20  
Yeah, no, I didn't think when you first approached that you were Yeah, no,

Cassidy Weyers  1:05:22  
I wasn't hesitant about it. I wasn't I mean, it was what it was. Um, but I do remember the first time we had one, the boundaries that we initially put in place, because we weren't sure. Like how the emotional aspect would get in the way you and I it was very much like a trial. Yes, it was. Yeah. It was figuring out what did or didn't work for us. Yeah. And so I think our initial boundaries, were like we said, No penetration for you and her, and no kissing. Yep, no, kissing was always a huge one. So I think it was just specific things that we felt were important to us as a couple. Yeah. And I think it was very important for us to remember that we were the couple. Yep. And now every dynamic is different. There are like polyamorous relationships, there are throwables there are a million different things out there. But for us, it was so important that that those endeavors were simply about like a sexual experience. And it was not an emotional situation for us,

Brett Weyers  1:06:18  
correct? Yeah, I mean, we definitely had a very, like, several, like six month conversations before even before even establishing the rules, because we talked for maybe six months, just about, you know, the, the idea of separating sex and emotion. Yes. And like, Is that even possible in this in that and so yeah, we really, really talked about it, because we did not want either of us to get hurt to get hurt or become emotionally attached anybody else. It was like, we're doing this directly for fun and a sexual desire, but there's no emotion behind it. There's no lack of love

Cassidy Weyers  1:07:03  
there. But here's the problem, too, not the problem. But I think for some couples, this is very hard for them to understand. And I didn't understand this until we got farther into our relationship. That in some ways, sex did not always have to be emotional. Right? Right. And so when we were able to separate those situations and realize that the sex we had together because it was emotional was vastly different than threesome sex. I think that was that was almost like an awakening moment. For us. We were like, holy cow, like we either tapped into a new level of our relationship. Or I don't, I don't, I don't know how to explain it. But for me, it was this weird shift where I actually used to be a very jealous person, like very, very jealous. And I don't know if it's done from probably insecurity, or I don't know what it was. But I used to be so afraid of like you always having sex with other people. But once we did it the first few times. I don't know, I was able to mentally just separate it. It didn't bother me like that anymore. It wasn't, I think it was either I had become so secure in our relationship and where we were at with each other emotionally that I just didn't feel threatened by it. I understood it was just like an act.

Brett Weyers  1:08:14  
Yeah, cuz you. I think maybe it took you a little bit to you knew it wasn't emotional for you. Correct. And I knew it wasn't emotional for me. But we weren't 100% sure that the other person was or was not feeling emotions. And I think the further we got along with it, the more we

Cassidy Weyers  1:08:34  
realized very, and that was part of the boundaries thing. Well, we were always very honest and crystal clear with the third person. Like we never wanted them to feel deceived. We never wanted them to have the wrong impression of what we were looking for. We were very, very honest about our intentions. And whether or not that differed certain feelings. I think it did, because we always had the rule that we would never revisit that same person again. Yeah, we just thought that would blur lines. Um, yeah. So no one became like a regular. Yes. I think that for us was a huge thing. And another thing with rules was like, obviously, sexual health was huge for me. So like, everybody had to have proof of testing. Everybody had to be clean. Like, there just had to be a lot of very specific to that. And just being responsible about it was huge. Yeah. So

Brett Weyers  1:09:17  
well, the other rule too, like people are asking about rules and shit like that. Like, the other rule for finding a third is you Gassett Cassidy was the only person searching for a third.

Cassidy Weyers  1:09:29  
Yes. And I think that was something we were both comfortable with. But I think maybe part of that context was based on some of your past behavior as well.

Brett Weyers  1:09:38  
I would agree. But even regardless, without my past behavior, it would have still been a rule that I would have been okay with. Like, it wasn't like I was completely fine with it when you Yeah, you're like, I'm going to do find someone on my own. And when I do, I'll let you know. Yep. So yeah, I mean, I was fine with it

Cassidy Weyers  1:09:59  
was at Hang on, let's see. No, we already asked that one. So would you have beverages or get a buzz when including another person? I feel like I wouldn't eat a ton of liquid courage to be open to the experience and truly enjoy myself. Yes, we always did just because

Brett Weyers  1:10:14  
the first time required, I think there was a lot more booze and I was soaked in the times that followed after.

Cassidy Weyers  1:10:24  
Definitely, but it's also because we went out and partied beforehand.

Yeah, we like we went out when we were in Chicago, and we clubbed for

probably two 3am. So that was not ideal. But I think that that was a part of it was just, yes, the liquid courage, I think, for me, it was necessary, especially the first time. But it's not necessary. I think I've become comfortable enough. And like, No, it's

Brett Weyers  1:10:50  
not necessary anymore.

Cassidy Weyers  1:10:51  
My general being, I think it's just, here's the thing, I like a good drink or two. So that's just the way the cookie crumbles.

Brett Weyers  1:11:03  
Or that's the way the drink is poured.

Cassidy Weyers  1:11:05  
Or you're so funny. My cookie comment was funnier. Um, and I also think, too, that it's not even necessarily about courage, but you have to make sure something you actually want to be doing. Because I hear of a lot of scenarios like that where someone I think, pressure someone else into it. And then the person who is pressured into it is very uncomfortable, do not

Brett Weyers  1:11:28  
do not do this. Yeah, just to please your partner, it has to be you, you can, you cannot like if no matter how much you love your partner, you need to make sure that you have some, I call them terms or like rules for yourself, that you would be willing to sacrifice your relationship for to uphold those to uphold your terms. And so the concept of terms is something that I just like, established in my own life in the past two months. And like the other day, like, you didn't want me to do something. I was like, This is my term. I don't give a fuck what you want me to do. And I came over and I took you to the hospital. Yes, you're like, I don't want you to leave work. Don't do that. I was like, I don't give a fuck what you want. This is my term. You want to never talk to me again. I don't give a fuck. This is my term. I'm coming to get you. And so it's that kind of shit. Like, you need to make sure that you have very few you because when Cass approached me about wanting to bring in another girl, every girl every person listening to this podcast is probably going to be like, Oh my god, Brett's brain muscle lit up like a fucking Christmas tree.

Cassidy Weyers  1:12:40  
Sure, a part of it did. So.

Brett Weyers  1:12:44  
Part of it? Yes. Part of it did because it was that, you know, I needed at the time, more external validation. And just I was a sick person. But the the forefront of the the feelings that I had was like, it scared me. Because I didn't know if like I was going to lose you and you were going to decide that you wanted to be with women instead. And I still might you still might

Cassidy Weyers  1:13:12  
wander off into the abyss.

Brett Weyers  1:13:13  
But yeah, but we had lots of conversations about it. And it took me a very long time actually to really realize like I was doing this. Because it would be fun for us not it wasn't because I was doing it for you. That's fair. Like you need to do it because you're you want a shared experience. Yes. Not because you want your partner to be happy. Correct.

Cassidy Weyers  1:13:39  
That is I think the worst way to go about that. I'm tired. Okay. How did you know what to do when having the first sexual experience with a woman? We didn't? Porn guessing.

Oh, yeah. Put Brett teach, you

Brett Weyers  1:13:53  
know?

Cassidy Weyers  1:13:56  
Yes, I think it's question one guys, for me.

Brett Weyers  1:13:58  
You guys. I've never had a threesome before I let you I think

Cassidy Weyers  1:14:02  
more about like just a female, like what to do with a female. I hate to break it to people, but I think I know females better than men do.

Brett Weyers  1:14:09  
Yes. Like, dude, if I were to become a gay guy, like if I were to go gay, i Dude, I've been working with that tool for 30 years. I know how to use it. Exactly.

Cassidy Weyers  1:14:18  
Forget that. Like, oh, I know how to make it work. So

I didn't need to be taught and sure porn plays a part in that or just like figuring out what you do or don't

Brett Weyers  1:14:27  
like, porn definitely helped and like positions. Oh, yeah. getting creative. There's three people there and like, what's the position to make sure that you know, correct one person doesn't feel left out. That was another thing that was really important to us is like, we didn't want either of us to feel left out at any point.

Cassidy Weyers  1:14:44  
Yes. That was a huge one. Did it hurt watching Brett have sex with another woman? I feel like I'd be too jealous. No, no, I don't know if it's just the way I'm wired. Maybe or It just didn't bother me for some reason, I don't know if it was just mentally the way I am. But it didn't bug me.

Brett Weyers  1:15:09  
So you can cut this out if you want. But do you want to talk about how I don't know how much you want to mention, like the third was technically like a toy.

Cassidy Weyers  1:15:20  
But that's how we explained to her that was meant to be very much experiencing is

Brett Weyers  1:15:25  
like this specifically to having me watching me have sex with somebody else. I think the viewpoint that you took was like, I making you have sex with my husband's dick. Or like,

Cassidy Weyers  1:15:38  
like your truck is going

Brett Weyers  1:15:40  
well, because there's an uncle and like, no, no, not a couple of them. But because there's a certain point of view, because I can tell when you we watch through some porn, that there's a certain point of view that like, gets I don't know why you get turned on. And I because I haven't asked, but I feel like there's a part of you that gets turned on or feel something powerful or positive, from like, telling another girl to like, ride me or blow I would agree.

Cassidy Weyers  1:16:07  
I think that's but again, I

think that's just like a personal preference to Yes, it's very personal. Um, and just like a personal probably kink, but I think it also like, I think if you would have asked me five years ago, if I would have ever expected that my answer would have been no, right. I would have never, ever assumed that. So I'm not sure if it's just that's actually a great question to probably like, ask a sex therapist is like, why you become wired that way? Or what part of that is a desire? You have your friend, I'm gonna have to ask Taylor. Maybe she'll have insight, or one of her coaches. Well, but I'm curious. Um, yeah, no, I wasn't jealous. It didn't bother me.

Brett Weyers  1:16:41  
Just if you actually ask that question. Can Can I know the answer to it? Yeah. I'll tell you.

Cassidy Weyers  1:16:47  
I guess would you be jealous of watching me have a sense of a man?

Brett Weyers  1:16:51  
We did that? We did that we did. We we did the guy guy girl. threesome.

Cassidy Weyers  1:16:59  
I hated it. We try to. Yeah.

Brett Weyers  1:17:01  
So for people that are like, Oh, God is, you know, got his cake to eat it too. Like, No, dude, I gave you some kickback. I hated it, though. Like I was like, Yeah, I mean, we can try this.

Cassidy Weyers  1:17:12  
Yeah, we that was the first last time we tried that dynamic. It did not. Yeah,

Brett Weyers  1:17:15  
it didn't do anything for you.

I'm just trying to think like how I felt. It didn't like I don't think it like it wasn't. I didn't, didn't not enjoy it. But I didn't enjoy it either. Okay, makes sense. Right. So I just felt very numb about it. And, yeah, that experience was all about you.

Cassidy Weyers  1:17:47  
Yeah, that does nothing for you. No, no. And I wouldn't do it again. It was not for me, either. This is the last question. So do you think bringing other women in to your sex life helped her hurt your marriage?

Brett Weyers  1:18:03  
I think overall, it actually helped.

Cassidy Weyers  1:18:05  
Oh, yeah. I think it definitely helped our marriage.

Brett Weyers  1:18:08  
You go first, why do you think?

Cassidy Weyers  1:18:11  
I think it brought us like a different level of comfort. Talking about our sex life connection and closeness. I think it brought us more exploratory. I think it made us try new things. It just it was a very deeper level of connection.

Brett Weyers  1:18:24  
It opened up a new level of vulnerability, and just basically education and communication.

Cassidy Weyers  1:18:30  
Yeah, big time. We had a lot of like Brett had said earlier, we talked for six, eight months about the outriggers to having our first three someone what that would look like, before ever even embarking on finding someone. Yeah,

Brett Weyers  1:18:41  
well, and then even that after like talking about it for eight months to a year, then it was like, Okay, now we'll go out and find someone and it's not like that happens, no snap of a finger. It was like, several more months. And it was all here's this potential person, kind of just go through the interview process, make sure like that. That's the other thing is you need to make sure we made very sure that whoever we added also really did understand like, Hey, this is our dynamic you This is our dynamic in in like, we're looking for someone that is also able to respect it, respect it, and is okay with that. It's

Cassidy Weyers  1:19:18  
okay with it. Yeah, there are people out there who are just there for a good time, and that's all they're looking for at the time. Um, I think it's also important to note that the one thing I've learned about this as there are some people who are so shocked with this conversation, like the Shellshock, about this conversation is just next level. Well, no one talks about it that no one talks about it. But I think people are forgetting that it's actually much more. Not popular, but it happens way more than you realize.

It's just not properly discussed. It's Yes, I think it's much

more the contaminants that can realize

Brett Weyers  1:19:55  
the community that surrounds sexual kinks. is huge. Yes. It's fucking massive. And if you know where to go and look for it, there's endless people and you start to realize like, oh shit, like, I'm not the weird one out.

Cassidy Weyers  1:20:14  
I think it's funny that we even like have it come from a society where people view it as weird. Like, why is that weird? It's like one of the most primal things humans do. Well,

Brett Weyers  1:20:21  
it's because there's no safe place to talk. It's interesting, like other than in the kink,

Cassidy Weyers  1:20:27  
not even kink though, like just sex in general, section one. And like, again, the most biological and primal things humans do aside from eating, breathing and sleeping, right. Like, that's how we recreate the fact that it's an off key subject to discuss. It's so funny to me. I don't know something about that's weird. Um, but ya know, so that's all of the questions pertaining to that. Cool, do you anything else to say?

Brett Weyers  1:20:51  
No, I don't know.

Cassidy Weyers  1:20:53  
I need to stop podcasting with you. Why can I take a look at you?

Brett Weyers  1:20:57  
You just close your eyes.

Cassidy Weyers  1:21:00  
I liked it. Oh, that would have

been better. That's why we shouldn't have filming us. I could have lay there with my eyes closed and had a conversation. And no one would

have known any different.

Brett Weyers  1:21:08  
Yep. But I also know that somewhere in this room, there's probably a blindfold. You just use

Cassidy Weyers  1:21:15  
my drawers. To my drawers psycho. Psycho as a joke, sicko?

Brett Weyers  1:21:21  
That's a joke. I took it with me when you kicked me out. That's also a joke.

Cassidy Weyers  1:21:32  
Yeah, sicko.

Brett Weyers  1:21:34  
Okay, can't open the second drawer because the mic stands attached to it. It's in the second drawer where I left it.

Cassidy Weyers  1:21:41  
I don't know. I haven't haven't even opened. Oh, that is realize that Elaine has probably been in those

Brett Weyers  1:21:45  
tests and stuff like that. Like I left it here. Oh, yeah.

Cassidy Weyers  1:21:48  
Well, good to know for my future. Yeah. Well, I

Brett Weyers  1:21:50  
didn't want you to just frickin go down a rabbit hole and be like, Who the fuck are you using that shit with and hope

Cassidy Weyers  1:21:55  
has anybody but it's not me. Yeah.

Um, you know, but I think that's about it.

Brett Weyers  1:22:01  
This is fun. I'm mixed. I'm I'm actually kind of this might be the only podcast that I actually read what the comments back on it are. Just because I'm curious. I was way too worried to read comments from the other two.

Cassidy Weyers  1:22:18  
Because like, why the one people were pissed or me?

Brett Weyers  1:22:21  
Well, I'm a fucking asshole. And I just laid out 10 years of being an asshole. So it's like, it's a lot. It was heavy. I already know people hate me. And just like double confirming it. So it's just like, I stayed away from that. And I should have done the same. This is my mental health is a way more fun topic. What's your next topic? So everyone else do you have it picked yet?

Cassidy Weyers  1:22:41  
I think I'm going to talk about like the raising medically complex kids situation. Okay,

Brett Weyers  1:22:45  
you have a guess for that?

Cassidy Weyers  1:22:46  
I think I'm going to do it in a couple parts series. Actually. I think we'll probably I think at some point you and I will do it together. I think at some point you and I will do it together and discuss it. Like raising one child together who's medically complex, prospective looked as a married couple

Brett Weyers  1:23:02  
do, do I? It's okay, if you don't. But if you have any of the other guests that are on and they talk about medically complex kids, just because both. You handled it differently. I had so much PTSD surrounding that. So I would like to ask questions to other people. And if you want me to phone in and you don't want me there, that's totally fine.

Cassidy Weyers  1:23:24  
There are a couple of people I'm considering interviewing for to not interviewing, but just talking to about it who either have been alongside the journey with me because our kids have the same condition. Or just very different experiences with other issues or other hurdles, I should say. But I think it's something that needs to be more widely discussed. One just about advocating for your kids when you feel like something is off and pushing harder when you think that if I've learned anything that my mom got is stronger than anything. There isn't a doctor on the planet. Who was better than my mom. Good.

Brett Weyers  1:23:56  
Yep. So you're gonna talk about that vouching for your kids? Yeah. In the

Cassidy Weyers  1:24:01  
just experience, how it led to where we're at how it led to having a second baby how we felt about Damien, because of you, Lena, all of it.

Brett Weyers  1:24:09  
Talk about any of the PTSD that comes afterwards? Well, yes,

Cassidy Weyers  1:24:13  
I think our experience in some ways there are people out there who've been in our shoes, but I think our experience was much heavier with the PTSD because Ilana got sick. Yeah, I don't think I don't think everybody's been there's other

Brett Weyers  1:24:24  
people that you know, kids with cancer. But if you guys do get to the PTSD subject, whoever you have on as a guest, I'd like to ask questions, because that's something I really still struggle with is the PTSD. And so anytime like one of our kids gets a small fever or anything like that, like I get really bad PTSD. So if you have someone else that comes on and actually talks about it, I would like to ask questions how they deal with it, because one thing that joining the group that I'm in it's taught me that like, you should surround yourself with people who have gone through the same shit because that's a really great way to Get through stuff. So shout out

Cassidy Weyers  1:25:01  
to me and all my friends. We've all get real crappy ex husbands know, okay, half of us have really great husbands and the other half of us are

have shitty to the wind, the wind. We're very bonded over it at this point. So,

yeah, thanks for coming to my TED

Brett Weyers  1:25:20  
talk. Yeah. So that's your next episode. That's cool.

Cassidy Weyers  1:25:25  
Okay, I need to pee.

Brett Weyers  1:25:28  
Thank you. Thank you. Bye. Bye,

Cassidy Weyers  1:25:31  
bye.

Brett Weyers  1:25:34  
Yeah, we're gonna get up and you're like, it's not like I'm on the phone. Microphone. Somebody

Cassidy Weyers  1:25:40  
can hang up when you would just disappear.

Brett Weyers  1:25:42  
That's funny. All right. Thanks, guys. This was fun. Just like the first

Cassidy Weyers  1:25:46  
two. Those weren't fun at all.

What are you talking about?

Brett Weyers  1:25:49  
They were fun. Airing all of my shit was I was traumatized. It wasn't fun doing it, but like what it gave me afterwards was real good. So cool. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. Bye. Bye, guys. Damn it. We did it again. Okay, let's do this outro one more time. You need to just like just say like a quick like, I see you in the kitchen. Yeah, thanks, everyone for last for listening. I'll talk to you next week or something like that. Just something super easy and simple that you can just keep in clip and we'll put it in every single time but two inches Thank you everyone.

Cassidy Weyers  1:26:33  
We will see you next week when we discuss whatever I figure out is coming next.

I gotta feed